The God of Small Miracles

March is the month of mangoes and board exams. Bouts of chicken-pox and wide spread power-cuts. Dads planning their LTCs for annual family vacation and the kids waiting for the end of an academic year. So when there is so much going on in March, how could you expect poor Akku to concentrate in the Mathematics class?

Not just any Mathematics class but Mathematics class for merit students. But a Mathematics class during the 3rd period on a March-Wednesday afternoon. But a Mathematics class for the 3rd consecutive time that day .With his partner in crime in disrupting classes: Gopal, being in another class, Akku had nothing much to do except look outside the window at the kids playing basketball in the backfield.Akku yearned for the 3rd period every Wednesday afternoons. It was the dear Games period but with exams barely 2 weeks away, there were no more games period but only revision classes. Akku hated his new class. It was full of people who went to school to study and not to eat’ Tiffin’ and play cricket and football like Akku thought one goes to school for! In his old class Akku and his friends played dumb-charades when the teacher was absent but here, students completed their home work and assignments when there was a free period. Akku reminisced about the good-old days sitting in the Geometry class. Wait a minute, was it Geometry or was it Trigonometry? Either ways Akku had long since left the class.

Akku had fared extremely well in the junior board exams and his head-master had suggested Akku be transferred to the merit class or the achiever’s class.Akku`s parents were thrilled.Akku`s dad was ecstatic that his son was not as hopeless as he had thought .He would not be bank peon. He would be a bank manager like himself or better, he would work in those fancy offices with computers and 30 storied glass windows.Akku`s ma on the other hand was happy that she would be the toast of the evening at the next day kitty-party. But what about Akku?

Now sitting in the 8th grade merit section, Akku wondered why his Parents were happy on sending him to this god forsaken place.”Aargh! 30 more minutes”, Akku mumbled in exasperation. He contemplated on listening to Mr. Raman’s class but then why on Earth would one learn about some odd looking objects.

His constant yawning and lack of interest was driving the Iyer twins off their hooks. Being the teacher’s pet that they were, they gave Akku the: “I am going to tell Sir” look. So Akku decided to play his game of ‘Brain vita’ on his Milton water bottle instead.


“Yes! I did it”, Akku exclaimed. Having finally managed to lose all the marbles ,except one meant that he had scored the highest level. An accomplishment. But then, this was not his playground but a Geometry class, not just Geometry class but Geometry class for merit students. By the time he realized the gravity of the situation .Mr. Raman asked him to stand up .Mr. Raman, an old man with silver hair, elephant-tusk like rope mustaches and moon shaped glasses was the most feared one among all the teachers. He never lost his temper but if you ever got caught in his class that was it. The rumor was that, he came out with the most horrific of the punishments.

Akku was paralyzed with fear; He recalled the words of his elder brother.” No one knows what Mr. Raman’s punishment is. That is because no one has survived to tell the tale.”

“Akku!. Perhaps, you would like to share the reason of your jubilation with the rest of the class” Mr. Raman remarked, with a voice as cool as a cucumber. Cucumber:
Akku’s favorite snack. But now it looked like he would no longer have one since the unthinkable had happened. Akku had got caught in Mr. Raman’s class.
Akku had not even told Bittu that he could have his Tendulkar bat once he was gone.. He was young. Not a viable-die-able age! But then what could he do. He had broken the cardinal rule of discipline and got caught in Mr. Raman’s class.

“Akku, don’t you want the class to be happy as well?”,Mr. Raman repeated.

The Iyer twins were giving Akku: “Hallelujah! the evil wolf is gone” looks.

Not knowing what to say, Akku blurted out:”Sir. I am happy I found the answer for the sum!”

Mr. Raman still calm.. “Oh! You found out the area of the Parallelepiped. Then it is definitely worth celebrating .Why don’t you educate us then?”

There is something on the board.130302.There are four letters next to it. What could they be. It was times like these that Akku remembered why he was called”soda-buddi” or “one with 4 eyes”. He could not believe today of all days, he had forgotten his spectacles.

“So Akku what is the area?”, said Mr. Raman..

“130302 square meters. Sir,”.Akku meekly replied.

There was silence. Even the squirrels in the near-by tree were watching. After all there should be a lull before an apocalypse.

“God of small miracles!” , Mr. Raman said, followed by “ Next time, you complete a sum; you don’t have to disturb the class.”

TrinTrin! the school bell rang . ”The area is 130302 square meters; all of you complete the next two sums”. Mr. Raman left the class.

Growing up in the household of compartmentalized worship, he had understood that there were different gods for different purposes. Goddess of wealth brought in money, god of monsoon brought in rains, and goddess of knowledge helped him pass the exams .But he could not recall who this of god of small miracles was. He was used to seeing his mother and Ajji throng number of temples with deities having multiple heads and hands. But never had he heard of this god.

15 years later:

Professor Akhilesh Rao`s lecture on Power Systems Engineering is in progress. He notices a student in the last but second row not paying any attention. At first he dismisses it assuming the student would rejoin the class but then he is constantly bending down .Prof. realizes that the student was watching the FIFA final on his cell phone.

“So,Mr. Gupta,What is the answer for this problem.? What is the total wattage?”, the professor asks curtly ..

After some confused glances, the student gives the answer as 121227...Surprised that the student could guess, so accurately. Professor Akhilesh Rao clears the class as the final bell for the day rings. As he signs out the class-register, something strikes him.
Mr. Gupta wears spectacles. He was the one who could not get the reading in the machines-lab as he had misplaced his spectacles. He turns to the black board and sees:

Date:12.12.27.

Mr. Gupta was not wearing his spectacles.

“So I finally catch you, God of Small Miracles”, he chuckles.

Human Bonds..

People. People everywhere. People at your workplace, people on the road,people in the neighborhood market,people at your local café. People you see regularly. Who are they..?Just strangers who have familiar faces? Think again,for there is a human bond that penetrates the unknown souls with known faces.


Every morning when I take my dog for a walk, I would happen to see this grandpa who would cheerfully greet everyone .Most of the people would be lost in their own thoughts and their hectic-pace of life that they would not even bother to acknowledge him.Undettered by the indifferent attitude of most people; he always managed to smile at all the passers-by. Since I am a late riser, more than a walk, it’s like a quick run in the park for my poor doggie. So I am also one of the people who just waltz-by without “looking “at things around. Most of the time, his,”Hey Kiddo!” greeting was barely heard by me .Not intententional or anything, but being late for work everyday, I would hardly notice anything.

Last week, since I was in no hurry to go early, I was walking in the park and noticed that the grandpa was not at his usual spot. I thought may be he must have left early. Now it’s been more than a week and there is no sight of him in the park. I miss the familiar face and the affectionate greeting.Strange isn’t It?

We are so caught up in this mundane world that we don’t even bother to wait for a minute and soak in the bond of affection which runs amidst us. Little do we notice that the multitude of unknown people who surround us touch our lives in their own special way.

Astronomical Musings

DISCLAIMER:This post is just an avenue for venting out my frustration.For all those of you who are genuinely surprised and not aghast that, there are people who gaze at stars,this is not for you.Am happy that you guys think it is uncommon,i find it flattering.As far as the rest of them,please read-on it is exclusively for you!Any resemblance to the below mentioned conversation i have had with any one is purely co-incidental(or perhaps not!)


Person XYZ:So you like Astronomy.!?
Me:Yes.(I am like,oh..no!Not again!)
Person XYZ:But Astronomy!.Why on Earth would someone look at stars!?
Me:Smiling(Obviously fake!)..Well,just for the same reason as you pursue your hobby..[Grr!!]..Btw,that is my standard answer these days..:)
Person XYZ:Hmm..Common..See..That can`t be it..Take my case,For me reading gives me immense intellectual satisfaction..It feeds my craving for knowledge..
Me:[By now,i am more or less ready for combat]..Well..good for you..!I guess i am more or less intellectually-defunct to come up with a "shining answer"...![Point-blank rude and end-of-conversation and mission accomplished.!]

Unfortunately most of the times,people fail to catch the sarcasm and imagine me to be an aimless observer of the night sky.!Well,that is way better than having to make the astronomically-challenged ones aware of the true beauty of sky watching,which is as easy as trying to find the practical proof for Drake`s equation![little-green-men for the uninitiated]

Amateur astronomy happens to be a widely pursued hobby all over the world,but yet people gawk at me even to this day whenever i mention about astronomy like i said i collect human skulls are something!!

So i am s star-gazer..Spend most of the nights looking at the skies searching for cosmic entities.Prefer hunting for comets and satellites to getting hammered at a local pub on Saturday nights..

Well,if you are wondering why am i writing about this.The answer is simple.I am sick and tired of people asking me why do i gaze at stars,what is so intriguing..Isn`t it a waste of time..(And yes,i did feel like giving one-tight-slap to this person,who asked me this..But then my karate instructor always told martial arts is for self defense...:D]..But the icing on the cake for pissing me off royally to have actually prompted me to spend my Sunday afternoon writing about this is,when this intelligent acquaintance of mine asked me ,if i ,"Do tarot-cards as well!!"What the..!!??Getting confused with astrology and astronomy!!That`s it..!I pick up my weapon of choice(my keyboard) and start my battle :-))
So here it goes..Will try to make it as succinct as possible..I can write pages of literary treatises on this subject,but don`t have the patience currently to type one!

First of all Astronomy is the science of looking at cosmic objects through aided or unaided eye or using other parts of electro-magnetic spectrum for analysing objects in space .Astronomy is not the science(?) of predicting whether or not you will have a peanut butter or jelly sandwich for lunch tomorrow!!

Why do i gaze at stars?Why is Astronomy intriguing..?etc..etc..
The answer is simple - "You get more questions in the sky than you get answers".There is no dearth for things you could explore.There is no better playground for the human mind to conjure up the delight of optimal neural usage than analysing the cosmos.You are analysing and observing the very hot-bed of life`s creation.We are all nothing but an amalgamation of star dust.So you are actually looking at where you come from and where you would go.You might spend your entire life scanning the sky with your telescope and yet you would not have covered even one in 10^100 part of what is out there.!After all it is just a guess,you don`t even know how large the universe is ..So isn`t it exciting that you are actually exploring the un-explored ?.The chances of you finding out something whose existence is not known to human-kind upto this point of time is highly probable.After all,which hobby boasts of having no scientific training required for having an ability to make a discovery which might change the face of the world.!?All you require is a keen sense of observation and interest and you could experience the joy of opening upto a higher plane of existence.
Apart from all this,the beauty of seeing a Nebula is something which even a Van Gogh would be nowhere near-to.Pursuing Astrnomy is like reading a magnum-opus which tells the saga of creation and destruction..How could one not like Astronomy,i wonder?..I mean, you get be an explorer,a scientist,an artist,a philosopher and much more..

Isn`t looking at the sky,a waste of time?
Hmm..Waste of time!!Gawd.!!Well,if going to polar expeditions,painting,designing embroidery patterns,clicking pictures of birds,reading about fictitious people,watching TV,growing cacti etc. is waste of time ,then Astronomy is waste of time as well!

So there are people who go on hiking,skiing etc,which gives them an adrenalin rush..How could you not feel your pulse racing when you see a 'Perseid-shower'.?

I have much more to say and perhaps,there are other fellow-astronomers who could articulate way better than i can.No words could ever do justice in describing the art and science of 'star-gazing'.Infact,most of the times,we don`t take the sceptics seriously,but then once in a while,you do feel like standing at the roof-top and shouting and this happens to be one such instance:-).Especially with May-10th being 'Astronomy Day' and all,i though there could not be a better time to write.

Stastics say that...

I have always wondered why on Earth people conduct some surveys..Afterall how does it matter if 80% of respondents think some goddamn thing is like "A" and rest of them think it is like "B"..Maybe sales surveys and medical surveys do matter and actually serve a purpose. But how does it matter, if 80% people think Matthew McConaughey is hotter than Orlando Bloom or if Mongolia is a more touristy than Tibet..Sheesh!,why can’t people spend valuable time in doing something more useful. The very purpose of such "studies" are not only a preposterous waste of time but also waste of atto meters of brain space of people who are unwittingly bombarded with such useless trivia through websites and newspapers!

But the most interesting thing has to be the way these results would be postulated. Come to think of it, how bonafide are these things.? I for one think 90% of the time in 56.2% of the cases in 60% of surveys they are right!:))..

What`s in a name.?

We have an adage by Bard which goes something like:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)


But imagine having to go through your life named as "Apple" or "Big toe"(Red Indians must really hate their kids inorder to name them as big toe.!!)or something absurd.!!I know essentially speaking,our identity is much more beyond the concatenation of a few syllables.Infact,understanding that our identity is much more beyond a name and what our identity truly is ,would be more of a spiritual awakening..

But for lesser mortals,who are not yet in the higher spiritual plane,like me,name does hold a lot of prominence in our life..I mean for heaven`s sake,it is my damn identity!But strangely,such an important thing which in a way shapes our life and decides who we turn out to be is something which have absolutely no say in!These days parents say that they support their kids in every decision they take and wouldn`t want to influence their offspring`s life.But come to think of it,they unknowingly decide what their kids turn out to be.Not just by instilling life values and morals but by just naming them.!As soon as you hear a name,you get a mental picture of a person..Say,I hear of someone called:'Martin',the first thing which comes into my mind is banker..Martin the banker.!Or say,"May flower",then the first thing that comes into the mind is guitarist in an Indie Rock band or perhaps a tarot card reader or even a psychic..But definitely not a Quantum Physicist!

So i guess,in a way,a name does influence what we want from our life.I guess,your sub conscious mind gets tuned to choose certain paths,as you keep responding to being called by a particular name.

Do you think,The Bard would have come up with this popular line from Romeo and Juliet if he was not named William Shakespeare?..

Juno....

There have been many movies which have handled the story of birds and bees and the predicament of being a teenager.But what Juno does is,it handles both of them magnificently with the right touch of comic sarcasm.This is what makes this Oscar nominated movie a class apart from movies belonging to this theme,which treat the subject of teenage pregnancy in a maudlin fashion.
Quirky acting by Ellen page,who plays the protagonist,Juno is definitely one of the key ingredients making this movie a winner with both critics and the viewers.The very punk meets comedy touch is just impeccable.Juno`s decision of going ahead with pregnancy because her Asian friend tells her that the baby has finger nails,shows the brilliant screenplay methodology of underplaying emotions associated with moral convictions.In a way you also see a theme of feminism running throughout the movie..Not in terms of characterization,but the idea underlying the etching of both Jennifer Garner`s character and that of Juno..The dialogue"We all know ,whose idea it was"[Juno telling Paulie it was her idea to "do it" ] in a way is all about female empowerment in a very strange way!!

But anther interesting thing is Juno`s Hamburger-Phone,which has become something of a fashion statement now..But for me the best part was the soundtrack..Being a big fan of Indie Rock,listening to Kimya Dawson,Moldy Peaches,Belle and Sebastian,Barry Louis as part of the movie`s soundtrack is a big thumbs-up form me..You couldn`t have asked for a better ending than Juno and Bleeker`s rendition of "Anyone else but you"..

Jam..Jam..Jam!!

"Aah! What a pain in the neck!"..This is something, every Banglorean would moan and tell,when asked about Bangalore traffic.Yeah,commuting for 2 hours to reach your workplace is a common thing here.We could go on and on ranting about this everyday menace but come to think of it,it does have a bright side to it..Yeah,I know...It sounds crazy to say something nice about traffic jams..But every quintessential "swalpa adjust madi" Bangalorean would definitely nod with me in accord.After all we Bangloreans always look at the sunny side up..Don`t we.?

So when stuck in a traffic jam what is it that we do?.Yell in frustration,mumble on and on about how the flyovers, instead of easing our traffic jams are adding to the woes..Hmm.. yeah we do..But how long .Once we take out our frustration and have taken a "chill pill"(Yeah,am on a roll with Bangy slang..),there is a whole new thought process running in our grey cells.

Contemplating on our lives or how the colleague in the next cubicle is damn cute(!!) or pondering about finally hitting the gym to get in shape or perhaps even calculating a new proposal for the next client meeting.

After all it`s like a much needed avenue for venting out your anger,I mean when you yell or curse in frustration,you are getting rid of all the pent up anger.bitterment . It`s like a psychological clean up process..Apart from that i would have to say you also get much needed time to introspect..The best of my poetic works have their genesis in the ring road jams..


I am not endorsing the traffic jams or anything, especially in winters,when i would have to get up early in the chilly morning to be on time in office....But definetly saying that it ain`t all that bad for in our otherwise jam-packed life,we get a breather for a minute..